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Why She Is Still Not Married ! November 17, 2008

Filed under: CHRONOLOGY OF EVENTS, Local Jokes — jimmyho0202 @ 1:00 pm

For the last few days, images of that poor man being killed by White Tigers at the Singapore Zoo keep replaying in my mind – images of his last moments face to face with that big cat – he was actually staring at the jaws of death and this was captured on photo by a Tourist!!! This brought back flashes of image of another episode which happened in Malaysia where a Man was actually swallowed by a giant Phyton snake. Gosh, I can’t imagine being swallowed by a Snake and of all things, snake is one my phobias, phobia of snakes and worms or crawlies.

Just to take my mind off this sad episode, here’s something light-hearted which I want to share with you:

A woman visited the Singapore government marriage matchmaking Agency, SDU, and requested: “I am looking for a husband. Please help me to find a suitable one.”

The SDU officer said, “Your requirements, please.”

“Oh, he must be good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing.
Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don’t go out.
Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest.”

The officer listened intently and after a long pause, replied:
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“Ma’am, I think what you need is a Television.”

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.

 

What A Way To Die November 14, 2008

Filed under: CHRONOLOGY OF EVENTS, Moving Stories — jimmyho0202 @ 5:04 am

I was on my Yahoo Mail yesterday when news of “Man Killed By Zoo Tigers in Singapore Zoo” caught my eyes. My first thought was – this can’t be happening in Singapore and in a world class zoo which is highly secured and safe. Then on second thought, I told my colleagues this must be a suicide case. Then it was all over the news on TVs and other media and by all accounts, the whole episode points to a case of suicide.

You know, there are many ways to die, like jumping off a high-rise building or structure, drug overdose, gas inhalation, jumping on the railway track…… Yaks! To be killed by animal and the prospect of being eating alive….wondered what was on his mind and why he does what he did.

And Today it was on the front page of the Straits Times (Singapore) and here’s the story:

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CLEANER KILLED BY ZOO TIGERS

A Cleaner at the Singapore Zoological Garden who jumped into the white tiger enclosure yesterday was killed by the animals as a horrified crowd looked on helplessly.

Malaysian, Nordin Montong, 32, was set upon by two of the three big cats in the enclosure at around noon.

According to eyewitnesses, Mr Montong, who was seen shouting and flinging items about shortly before the incident, vaulted a low wall and landed in a moat in the enclosure, four metres below.

Carrying a yellow pail and a broom, he then crossed the 1.75m-deep moat, walk up to a rocky ledge near where the Tigers were and began agitating them by swinging the broom.

As two of the tigers approached him, he covered his head with the pail, lay down on the ground, and curled himself into a foetal position, according to two eyewitnesses…….”

He must have died a horrible death but I guessed he still want to look good or rather recognisable in death by covering his head with the pail. God bless him and may he rest in peace.

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Sound of The Forest May 9, 2008

Filed under: BEAUTIFUL SOUND, CHRONOLOGY OF EVENTS — jimmyho0202 @ 2:35 am



LETS TAKE A WALK IN THE FOREST.
LET ME TAKE YOU TO THIS BEAUTIFUL GREEN HAVEN.
A PICTURE OF CALM AND SERENITY.
FIND THE MOST STRATEGIC SPOT.
NO PICNIC MAT, NO NOTHING.
JUST SIT DOWN ON THE GRASS.
TOUCHING AND FEELING THE GRASS AND THE EARTH.
BACK TO BASICS AND IN TOUCH WITH NATURE AGAIN.
NO WORLDLY POSSESSION.
ONLY YOU AND MOTHER NATURE.
FORGET ALL YOUR WORRIES AND ANXIETIES.
TAKE YOUR TIME TO SMELL THE FRESH AIR.
JUST DOING NOTHING.

MARVEL AT NATURE’S CREATION.
OR, SIMPLY LIE DOWN AND LOOK UP THE BLUER THAN BLUE SKY.

OR, SIMPLY CLOSE YOUR EYES AND RELAX.
LISTEN TO THE BEAUTIFUL SOUND OF THE FOREST,

THE SOUND OF NATURE’S CREATION.

Did You Know:
It is estimated that rainforests are being cut down at the rate of 100 trees per minute, according to an Earth Day Report in 1970. (Oh, I use black colour here because it is the colour of death and we are slowly but surely killing the earth).

Personal Appeal:
Lets Save The Earth For The Future To Marvel And Enjoy. Otherwise, the “Future Is In Deep Shit…” (See Topic on “What Is Politics” below and you will know what I mean).
(I use orange colour here because it is the colour of the Sun and I still see a ray of hope).

P/s: Please share this messsage with your friends or ask them to visit my blogsite: http://101info.blogspot.com/


 

WHAT IS POLITICS May 2, 2008

Filed under: CHRONOLOGY OF EVENTS, POLITICAL HUMOUR — jimmyho0202 @ 3:39 pm

I sure had a wonderful weekend in the middle of nowhere. Too bad, you could not come to my barbaque, huh? Well, I hope it inspired you to go on your great weekend getaway. Sure hope that you have had a great weekend.

We have heard so much of the political fights of Clinton versus Osama…oops, I mean Obama with neither party being able to deliver the knockout punch thus far. Well, lets hear what this little boy has to say about politics.

LIBERAL OR CONSERVATIVE

Whether Democrat or Republican, I think you’ll get a kick out of this!

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, ‘What is Politics?’

Dad says, ‘Well son, let me try to explain it this way:

I am the head of the family, so call me The President.

Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.

We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.

The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.

And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.

Now think about that and see if it makes sense.’

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.

He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.

So the little boy goes to his parent’s room and finds his mother asleep.
Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.
He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, ‘Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.’

The father says, ‘Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.’

The little boy replies, ‘The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit …

 

Invitation To My Barbaque April 29, 2008

Filed under: Beautiful Places, CHRONOLOGY OF EVENTS — jimmyho0202 @ 3:54 am

Hi, I am back. Phew! I have been so so busy preparing for this
once-in-a-lifetime Barbaque just for you. Got to ensure that
everything is perfect and well-organised. Got to make sure that
that everything runs smoothly for this special weekend.
And now, I would like to invite you to my Barbaque this Weekend:

 

It’s A Dog’s Life April 18, 2008

Filed under: Amusing Video, CHRONOLOGY OF EVENTS — jimmyho0202 @ 11:46 am

The Answer to yesterday’s question is:

The Fact about PET DOG is INCORRECT. However, it is true that an epidemic once killed most of the Icelandic dog population

Sorry, No Price for guessing the correct answer!

 

OFFICE JOKE: Language of Work April 15, 2008

Filed under: CHRONOLOGY OF EVENTS, JOKE — jimmyho0202 @ 3:54 am

Well, you heard Cliff Richard’s “Congratulations”.

Yes, I got promoted (the following year) after that fateful reply. I got what I deserved as I was already performing the job function which should go hand in hand with the job title and the pay rise. I guess that was the last straw when I said what I had to say and it works. I suppose that was a wake-up call for my ex-boss to finally “give recognition when it is due”.

But Be Forewarned: “Don’t Try This At Home”. It might not work for you.

But if you still want to give it a try, you must be stern-face and don’t smile so that you boss will take notice and pop you that all important question. This might work…..hehehe.

We all talk about fun at work. Let’s put a little humour into our work:

Language of Work

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EMPLOYER’S LINGO:

“COMPETITIVE SALARY”
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

“JOIN OUR FAST-PACED TEAM”
We have no time to train you.

“CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE”
We don’t pay enough to expect that you’ll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

“MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED
You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

“SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED”
Some time each night and some time each weekend.

“DUTIES WILL VARY”
Anyone in the office can boss you around.

“MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL”
We have no quality control.

“CAREER-MINDED”
Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

“APPLY IN PERSON”
If you’re old, fat or ugly you’ll be told the position has been filled.

“NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE”
We’ve filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

“SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE”
You’ll need it to replace three people who just left.

“PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST”
You’re walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

“REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS”
You’ll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

“GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS”
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.

EMPLOYEE’S LINGO:

“I’M EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANIZATION:”
I’ve used Microsoft Office.

“I’M HONEST, HARD-WORKING AND DEPENDABLE”
I pilfer office supplies.

“MY PERTINENT WORK EXPERIENCE INCLUDES”
I hope you don’t ask me about all the McJobs I’ve had.

“I TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK”
I blame others for my mistakes.

“I’M PERSONABLE”
I give lots of unsolicited personal advice to co-workers.

“I’M EXTREMELY PROFESSIONAL”
I carry a Day-Timer.

“I AM ADAPTABLE”
I’ve changed jobs a lot.

“I AM ON THE GO”
I’m never at my desk.

“I’M HIGHLY MOTIVATED TO SUCCEED”
The minute I find a better job, I’m outta there.

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WEB POWER April 14, 2008

Filed under: CHRONOLOGY OF EVENTS, SOFTWARE — jimmyho0202 @ 12:25 am

Power of The Internet
Yesterday, I described the “Magic Box” you see in the Internet or in our homes as “ever-powerful modern-day magic box”. The increasingly powerful and influential Internet that can send images to every corner of the earth at the click of the mouse. You can virtually post any any materials in the Internet. By the time the authorities stop it, it would have been resent like cancerous cells.

People have now realised the power and influence of the Internet. It has turn faceless persons into overnight celebrities. Of course, it can also turn someone into overnight villains if adverse materials are posted. Even the government and terrorists are using it as a propaganda tool. So that’s how powerful the Internet is. The following videos will show you the different sides of the Internet.

Story 1
In Lakeland, Florida, a group of 8 teenagers planned a beating up their classmate, Victoria Lindsay, so that they can achieve FAME ON THE INTERNET.

One of the attackers invited Victoria to stay over and the attack took place in her home. Victoria was hit in the face and her head slammed against a wall, knocking here unconscious. She awoke in the living room couch surrounded by the girls, who took turns hitting and kicking her. The attack has shocked the United States, sparkling a debate on the rising power and influence of the Internet.

Story 2
In Paris, a Chinese National dubbed the “Wheelchair Angel”, JingJing, became an instant hero and celebrity during the Olympic torch relay by holding on “tenaciously” to the Touch (as if her life depended on it) to keep the Olympic Spirit alive. She managed to turn adversity into hope and gain for herself and her country.

MISUSE OF INTERNET: The Attack of Teenage Girl

TURNING ADVERSITY INTO GAIN: The Wheelchair Angel

Moral of the Story
The Internet is Ever-Powerful and it is here to stay. You can either use it or misuse it and you can turn adversity into gain, hope and opportunity.

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THE MOMENT OF TRUTH April 13, 2008

Filed under: CHRONOLOGY OF EVENTS, MUSIC VIDEO — jimmyho0202 @ 6:56 am

The Moment of Truth has arrived!!!

The answer lies in this
ever-powerful modern-day magic box below.

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HANGOVER April 12, 2008

Filed under: CHRONOLOGY OF EVENTS, HEALTH and FITNESS — jimmyho0202 @ 2:00 am

No blogging yesterday due to the “hangover” from the previous day’s “Celebration”.
Just Kidding. Just had quite a handful of things to catch up on and also making an excuse to relax after the hard work.

We all need to relax so as to release tension otherwise it gets all bottled up and explode and you go bonkers. People do all kinds of things to relax.

There is this guy who would go through the same ritual every morning at about 6 in the morning when it is still quite dark. He would park his motorcycle next to the field, walk to the middle of the field and then he would walk to and fro in various formation. He does it for about 5 or 10 minutes and then he’s off on his motorbike to work, I presume.

It more like a ritual than a form of exercise. Looking at him gives me the feeling that he is just finding his own personal space in the middle of the field, his mind completely blank and listening to the quietness. Strange as it seems, I get this feeling just watching him going through his ritual.

Try the following simple facial exercise which you can do it all by yourself and feel relaxed and energised after that.

Talking about facial reminds me of my face. People say I don’t smile. I say it is my nature. I remember some years ago during the annual review of my work performance, my boss asked me. She asked: Jimmy, why don’t you smile a little. Without hesitation, I replied: BOSS, HOW CAN I SMILE WHEN EVERY YEAR YOU GIVE ME THE SAME SATISFACTORY REPORT. GUESS WHAT HAPPEN AFTER THAT FATEFUL REPLY. Want to know what happen??? Come back and check it out, OK?